Sharpening Professional Effectiveness

June 17, 2010 by selfimprove  

We have all heard of IQ (intelligence quotient) which measures our intellectual ability and often predicts school performance. However, the idea of Emotional Intelligence or Emotional Quotient (EQ) is not as well known or understood even though it may determine as much as 80% of a person’s life success. IQ determines about 20%.

The idea of Emotional Intelligence (EI) was proposed in the early 1980′s. Daniel Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence (1995) popularized the idea in the United States. Since that time, many books have been written about what it is, why it is important, and how we can improve it.

Here are some things we know about EI:

o It is not set or innate like IQ which represents our cognitive ability.

o The need for EI increases with increased levels of responsibility.

o It influences success in 4 areas of life: performance or productivity, health, relationships, and quality of life.

o It determines who excels in any given job and is the basis for outstanding leadership.

Very simply, EI looks a how you handle yourself and your relationships. Goleman noted in a later book, Working with Emotional Intelligence (1998), that while IQ has been steadily rising over the years, EI has been declining. There is a concern that children are more emotionally troubled than previous generations and will soon be entering the workforce without basic competence in personal and social areas of their life.

Negative emotions or distress erodes mental abilities and decreases EI. The percentage of time individuals feel negative emotions at work is one of the strongest predictors of dissatisfaction and how likely they are to quit. In addition, dissonance or lack of harmony in an environment lowers productivity and achievement.

Moods influence how effective people are – adults or children. Upbeat moods boost cooperation, fairness, and performance in the work place or at home.

Your emotional center (the limbic system) in the brain functions as an open-loop which depends on external sources to manage itself. Of all emotional signals, smiles are the most contagious. Genuine laughter instantly interlocks limbic systems between people. It signals trust, comfort, and a shared sense of the world. When people feel good, they work at their best. An environment that is resonant cultivates an atmosphere of trust and cooperation.

Goleman streamlined the EI model into two large areas: Personal and Social Competence in his book, Primal Leadership: Realizing the Power of Emotional Intelligence (2002). Each area has two domains or dimensions with specific competencies in each area:

Personal Competence – how we manage ourselves.

I. Self-Awareness

o Emotional self-awareness

o Accurate self-assessment

o Self-confidence

II. Self-Management

o Emotional self-control

o Transparency

o Adaptability

o Achievement

o Initiative

o Optimism

Social Competence – how we manage relationships

I. Social Awareness

o Empathy

o Organizational awareness

o Service

II. Relationship Management

o Inspirational leadership

o Influence

o Developing others

o Change catalyst

o Conflict management

o Building bonds

o Teamwork and collaboration

The premise is that since emotions are at the heart of effective leadership, the key to being an effective leader lies in learning to handle yourself and your relationships in a positive manner.

Self-awareness is the foundation upon which self-management, social awareness and relationship management are built. These are not innate abilities. They are learned and can be retained through motivation and intentional effort, practice, and repetition. Learning stimulates new neural connections between the emotional and thinking parts of the brain. Self-Awareness is necessary for understanding and self-management. Increased satisfaction and productivity follow.

Improving your Emotional Intelligence helps you be more effective in your career and have a more fulfilling personal life because it:

o Motivates you to do your best

o Strengthens trust to build productive relationships

o Builds resilience to perform under pressure

o Increases confidence and courage to make good decisions

o Builds strength to persevere through adversity

o Clarifies your vision to create the future.

To start a learning plan to improve your EI, carefully answer these two questions:

1. What is you ideal vision of yourself – the person you want to be – and who you are now? Think about your strengths and values as you answer this question. Your learning plan helps you build on your strengths while reducing the gaps between your ideal self and reality.

2. Who are supportive people that can help you make change possible? A coach helps you see things you might be missing, affirms progress, provides for experimentation and practice, and lets you know how you are doing.

It is important to take time to make choices that will enhance your level of happiness and increase your EI starting today. The choice is up to you.

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The Choices We Make Shape Our Lives – A Look At Emotional Intelligence

June 17, 2010 by selfimprove  

People forget the great power they hold within-the power to shape their life. Our life is shaped by the choices we make. You are the one who choose how to live your life or create your life’s path. Our first step is to choose the type of life path we want-hills and valleys or rolling plains. Remember you ultimately make the choice.

How do I create a life path?

Start by visualizing the life you really want. What does it look like, what does it feel like. Write it down. Describe it in detail so it becomes alive and real for you.

Is there such a thing as a perfect life path?

Ok you spend a great deal of time creating the perfect path for yourself. Two things to remember life is never perfect and road we take can become bumpy and painful because of the choices we make along the way.

What do I do when the path gets bumpy?

Yes, there may be times we make choices that cause our path to become bumpy, confusing and uncertain. Our path seems like a series of hills and valleys there is never any balance.

When this happens, we should stop and examine the choices we made that have taken us down this path. We should evaluate those choices and identify alternative or new choices that will bring us back to our true path-the one we originally created. Once again we shape our lives by the choices we make.

What about the unexpected?

Despite the wise choices we made and make in creating our path, things happen in life that we cannot control or the “unexpected”. We shape our lives by the choices we make.

We can choose to give up or we can choose to keep going and turn the situation into a positive vs. a negative. We can spend our energy looking for positive solutions or we can waste our time focusing on the problem which is negative energy that will get us no where fast.

Once again it’s the choice you make that shapes your life.

What’s the payback for looking towards solutions?

You can look for a solution or you can dwell on the problem each choice has a different affect on your life. The choice is yours. Positive energy focused on solutions tends to bring positive results in all areas of our life. The results can take the form of happiness, satisfaction, inner peace, humility, a sense of accomplishment and achievement, increased self esteem, greater self confidence those are just a few.

Once again, it’s the choices you make that shape your life even when life brings you the unexpected or unpleasant.

When we choose to turn bumps in road into success experiences, we reach new levels of success and enhance our overall quality of life. In fact it is these choices we make that inspire us and positively transform our lives.

We are motivated to go for more in life, to reach new levels of learning and self awareness. We experience a sense of balance, happiness and harmony in our lives. We dare to live our life a bit more fearlessly-taking risks and using our inner creativity more freely. We experience an increased sense of self esteem, confidence, courage, wisdom and inner peace.

Wow, that’s an awesome pay off for going positively with the flow. Now that’s a wonderful life. Yes, but that was he choice you made.

So I say to you once again, the choices we make shape our lives.

How do I start?

The secret of making wise choices is based on our values, morals, principles and self awareness.

What about emotions?

Choices should not be based purely on emotions. The wiser approach is to consider the state of our emotions when we make choices. The best choices are made when we recognize and understand our emotions and have skills at using this awareness to manage yourself, your choices and relationships with others. The ability to understand our emotions and the emotions of others is an important emotional skill to have when making choices. We call this Emotional Intelligence- EQ.

What about Emotional Intelligence or EQ Coaching?

“Emotional Intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand emotions, and your skills at using this awareness to manage yourself and relationships with others.”- Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, “The Emotional Intelligence Quickbook”

In 1995, Daniel Goleman’s first book was published and Emotional Intelligence became a much talked about topic in classrooms and boardrooms. The term, EQ (Emotional Quotient), was mainstream. But the study of EQ was not new. It had been around for over 30 years. It wasn’t until the early 1990s however that EQ emerged as a strong indicator of future success. Psychologists Jack Mayer and Peter Salovey (Yale University) confirmed that IQ, the traditional measurement of intelligence, is not the most important factor in determining success in life – but that EQ is the major indicator of achievement.

EQ coaching is specifically focused on the development of emotional skills to increase personal effectiveness and enable one to demonstrate the competencies at work and in life that result in success. EQ coaching involves a process of creating discovery, which supports the clients to become more aware of and understand their own emotions and the emotions of others. EQ coaching also focuses on building emotional skill.

Clients quickly recognize the value of emotional self-awareness, but don’t know how to become more aware. Generally speaking, through social conditioning people have become better at avoiding feelings than recognizing, understanding and using them effectively. So part of a good EQ coach’s role is to be an instructor in emotional literacy – recognizing, using and effectively expressing emotions.

As with all coaching, emotional intelligence coaching involves identifying new choices and taking new actions. EQ coaches, support clients to recognize the relationship between their thoughts, feelings and actions, identify possibilities for new behaviors, and take new actions to create different results and make better choices.

How do I get started?

Here some action steps to help you make wise choices that positively shape you life.

1.Determine what you want from life- Visualize what it looks and feels like. Write it down. Draw pictures, use shapes, symbols and colors to truly capture the life you want and love.

2.Clarify your values. Make a list of the things in life that are most important to you-write them down and in order of importance.

3.Identify your morals and guiding principles by which you live your life. Write down at least 10 qualities that reflect your morals and principles you hold yourself true to. Such as honesty, integrity, loyalty, compassion, dedication, humility

4.Look at the “current reality” when you make choices. What’s the reality of the situation?

5.Develop and build your emotional skills. When you recognize the relationship between your thoughts, feelings and actions you can identify possibilities for new behaviors, and take new actions to create different results and make better choices.

Eleanor Roosevelt sums it all up in the following quote:
“One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes. In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” – Eleanor Roosevelt, first lady

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Recognize What Emotional Intelligence (EI) Means Along With The Qualities Of A Person Having I

June 10, 2010 by selfimprove  

Briefly , it definitely is a much desired trait which we should all want, and work toward to reinforce our ability to communicate with other individuals; family, work and friends in a more positive manner. If possessed, it can be what makes someone stand taller than others ; because they have the ability to hear others needs, effectively without judgment, deceit, or jealousy and find ways to help improve another human being. It is about knowing who you are, having the ability to work not just for yourself but with others in mind. It is about becoming a positive force in other people’s lives. It is being able to see other people’s needs and trying to relate to them in the more effective way for all concerned. It is about finding yourself dedicated to helping others grow and be successful; not just you.

The actual definition is: the ability or capacity, skill or, a self-perceived grand ability to identify, assess, manage and control the emotions of one’s self, of others, and of groups. — Wikipedia

Emotional intelligence is the wisdom to recognize your emotions, understand what they really are telling you, and realize how your emotions affect people around you. It also involves your perceptions of others; if you understand how they feel; this permits you to manage relationships more effectively.-mind-tools.com

Emotional Intelligence Characteristics

Someone who possesses Emotional Intelligence inside the working environment is pretty much successful in everything the try to do. Why? They’re just positive thinkers; they are productive and know the way to accomplish the goals and business plans. They thrive on a challenge and promote challenge in others. No, they are not critical of others, but they realize the secret that one must first be open to criticism and then use that criticism in their favor; and not take it personally. In other words it gives them the incentive to strive for more excellence. They lead others not manage others…there is a difference. They do not just give the orders; they work to accomplish what is needed to generate the bottom-line profits of the company. They have a hands-on attitude. They find ways to motivate, challenge and make others feel better about themselves. These qualities are why more and more companies are focusing on pre-employment evaluations to gain people who are Emotionally Intelligent as well as skillful. It is proven in some testing that those with Emotional Intelligence are more profitable to the company’s bottom-line. After all that is why they are in business; business without profits makes failure.

These graciously effective individuals are truthful with themselves. They know who they are and they realize no one is perfect and that we all need to expand . They are not out to sever anyone else but to try to improve another, with a purpose to help themselves. They understand that their emotions must be positive and controlled so that there will be less chaos as they are aware that confusion only brings discontentment. They do not show their anger and are able to work in stressful situations, and they tend to make sound, profitable decisions, calmly and with grit. These individuals are going to know when the gut instinct is right.

These people aren’t only skillful but, they possess the attribute of knowing that working as a team is highly important. They know how to motivate others and take a look at the long-haul results that brings success; as opposed to the short-term success.

These kinds of people are compassionate, in other words, loaded with empathy. They understand that their viewpoint isn’t the only viewpoint and how another person may have a better solution than they do. They recognize others’ needs and feelings and will not willfully hurt others. They are helpful to others and these qualities make them excellent management substance. They simply are honest, are genuine and live their entire life without need to cover and change their highly affective life; yet they are open to personal growth. I would say these highly qualified individuals are those who have it all together.

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