A superficial scan at seventy years of research in psychology will tell you that not so bad is about as good as it gets! Normal people, to quote the acclaimed spiritualist Anthony deMello, sleepwalk their way through life never realizing that, in order to live life to the full, all they’d have to do is wake up! Unfortunately, the normal mind goes through life on auto-pilot – the research confirms that, using our psychological faculty of automaticity, we pay almost no attention to anything that’s going on. And, in paying no attention to our day as it unfolds, we completely miss the opportunities of life that are right in front of our noses.

So wake up – if you’re feeling not too bad today, then that’s simply not good enough! Why would you go through life in a comfort zone that has you, in fact, not uncomfortable enough for you to do pull yourself together and change your life? Do you have to experience a disaster or rock-bottom to wake up? All the evidence suggests that that is the case. The personal development author, Ekhart Tolle, had to suffer something like a total breakdown, ended up destitute on a park bench, before it dawned on him that he should wake up!

Don’t sink so low. Don’t let short-change yourself. Don’t let life pass you by while you’re complaining about how horrible your job is, while you get hassled over money, while you get stressed out by the peaks and troughs of what you call life. You feel the way you feel because you’ve made things that way. And only you can change your life – you can transform it. It’s as easy as waking up.

So, what does this waking up involve? Focus on, pay attention to reality, not the stuff that’s going through your head and making your life routine, mundane and unsatisfying. Open your eyes, see the reality in front of you. Come to your senses, smell the roses. God gave you five senses – isn’t it time that you used them?

However, what does it take to be a leader? How will you write your own script for the life that you want? Well, oddly enough, the answer to these two questions is the same! All it takes presence – the hallmark of super- successful people, the very essence of leadership. And the wonderful news is that we can all develop our presence no matter how ineffective you think that you might be – if you’re suffering from a lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem or poor self-image, get real, all these notions are just figments of the normal mind’s obsession with paying attention to everywhere except where life is really lived – the present!

And that’s how you develop what people call presence – there’s no magic formula, no big secret. Psychological research has concluded that your ability to be happy and successful – and your ability to be impressive – is down to how you pay attention! Yeah, it really is that simple – focus on what’s actually going on and you’ll excite parts of your brain that are only ever otherwise activated when you get a natural high. In other words, turn yourself on – tune in to the only place where life can be lived – the here and now – because tuning in tunes out all the baggage in your head that has conned you into believing in your own inadequacy.

Tuning in means actually seeing what’s going on now for what it is – it means coming to your senses – it means seeing, feeling, hearing, smelling and tasting the reality of the here and now – not peering through the crud-covered window of your own sick mind (no offense meant and, I hope, none taken, all normal minds are sick). And, guess what, if you go to the trouble to turn up to the present moment, you’ll be head and shoulders above all the normal people on this planet. You will be present – and, if you are present, you will have presence – and the rest is up to you.

So, here’s the key question: What is Awareness? Let’s make it even easier – what can you be aware of at any particular point in time? For starters, you could be aware of what you’re thinking – most people aren’t because, as decades of research prove, most people are aware of pretty much nothing at all. You could be aware that you’re feeling annoyed or stressed – but these so-called emotions are merely the product of the thoughts that you’re not aware of in the first place. You could be aware of how you feel about yourself – your own self-image – but that’s not awareness, that’s getting involved in the ongoing internal power struggle between you and your personality (remember, personality derives from the Latin word, “persona”, meaning a mask and your personality is nothing more than the amalgamation of all the personal “snapshots” you took as a child).

Real awareness is being aware of the present. To paraphrase the Buddha, when I am walking, I am aware that I am putting one foot in front of the other. Only in the present moment is reality to be found. In fact – scientific fact as explored by quantum physics – only in the present moment does anything exist and all that exists is changing from one moment to the next.

And what of the choice we must make? We have a stark choice that has a fundamental impact on our lives – we can choose to be aware or we can (and this is the automatic choice made by the average person) choose to live in a make-believe world created by our own, predominantly negative, thoughts. This is a choice that we must make time and again, in each moment because nobody becomes aware and stays aware – it is an ongoing process in exactly the same way that the reality of our world is an ongoing process.

The life you are living is how it is as a result of your action, reaction or inaction in the present moment. The normal person reacts to their own thoughts and perceptions. The extraordinarily successful person acts on the basis of the current moment facts and, thereby, creates a life that is exciting, spontaneous, adventurous, fulfilled and successful. Now, how about that for a choice?

Of course, in fact, there are no boundaries between mind, body and spirit in the same way that there are no limits between us as individuals and the universe of which we each comprise an integral and indispensable part. Not only are we part of a whole, when it comes to us individually, there is just one – mind, body and spirit are simply artificially imagined aspects of the one. This is important because, when one looks at the facts in this way, it is clear that what we’re thinking has an immediate effect on how we feel physically and mentally. By way of example, when one examines the problem of stress and its all too real physical results, we find that our thoughts directly generate movements in body temperature and heart rate, changes in the creation and distribution of a all manner of chemicals all of which, if unchecked, lead to serious illnesses – such as heart attack and stroke – and, if seriously out of control, will lead to early death.

What is my point? . Our state of mind has a direct impact on the mental state of others around us – this has been proven many times by research in the field of psychology. How much more does our state of mind affect us, ourselves? Your health, fitness and wellness are all directly related to your state of mind. Even your weight – your ability to gain too much of it or a whole range of dietary disorders from bulimia to anorexia – is a direct consequence of what is going on in your head.

And what you’re thinking is directly within your own control – or will be if you take the trouble to make the simplest and, ultimately, most liberating decision that any one of us can make as responsible adults – choosing your own thoughts. The ordinary mind is tortured by toxic thoughts, most of which rise from the subconscious. Research confirms that the average subconscious is focused on the events of our formative years and is predisposed to focus on the more negative events. This is our default mental state. That is not to say that we cannot control what we’ll pay attention to, however.

You are your own master. Your life, every part of it, is created by what you’re paying attention to – whether you know it or not. This ultimate and powerful choice that I just mentioned can be taken, each day, moment to moment, by deciding to pay attention to the actual reality of the present moment. That’s the only cast-iron way of stopping your own subconscious dwelling on self-sabotaging thoughts. No other mechanism is as effective, no other way gives you the power to absolutely transform your health, your fitness, your wellbeing, your personal effectiveness and, ultimately, your ability to live a life of happiness, peace and incredible success.

However, you’ve got an even bigger problem. Your subconscious mind is crammed with crap. It’s crap because it’s irrelevant to who you are or what you should be doing today. The crap is a hangover from your childhood, when you were young and impressionable – from your formative years. And, even though all the automatic behaviour happens subconsciously, every so often you actually know that this crap is ruining your life. Sometimes you might feel down, stressed, negative or depressed. You might think that you’re useless, uneasy or inadequate. Sometimes, or in certain situations, you could feel nervous or anxious. Maybe you feel that you’re lacking self-confidence or that you’re suffering from low self-esteem. But this is just crap borne out of crap! This is the crap that has your life on hold – and you’re letting it happen by paying attention, whether you’re aware of it or not, to the crap that’s lodged in your head.

Your own personal crap will not go away – but you can choose whether or not you pay attention to it – either consciously or, in actual fact, subconsciously. That’s what personal development or self improvement is all about. You see, as a grown up, you can actually take control of your subconscious mind – decide, moment to moment, what you’ll pay your attention to. So you have to choose to turn your attention to reality instead of letting your subconscious mind just lead you by the nose into ever decreasing circles of crap. There’s just thing that’s really real in your life – the here and now. It’s where you could really be the very best you if you could just stop paying attention to all your inner crap. Start paying attention to now – to what you see, feel, hear, smell and taste. This focus will drag your subconscious (sometimes kicking and screaming) away from its natural obsession with all the unreal crap. Normally you don’t actually experience anything real because you see it through the fog of crap. You must clear the fog – it won’t clear on its own because it’s your personal fog. Clear the fog by experiencing that it isn’t there at all! There is no fog.

All that’s real is what is here right now. So train yourself to experience your five senses – make sense of now instead of nonsense. Your life will never be the same again.

What is it that takes the wind out of our sails so easily? How come we can be so fired up one minute and then suddenly so flat? Actually, the answer is all too simple – flat is your default state of mind. Yeah, believe it or not, research tells us that only the very rare person is tuned in sufficiently to actually be adequately focused and attentive to get all that can be gotten out of the normal day. As if that wasn’t enough, research also asserts that, left to its own devices, our minds slip towards negativity. It’s the way we’re wired – and all the personal development or self improvement in the world won’t personal development or self improvement isn’t going to change that wiring.

But a committed approach to self improvement will change the programs that we run. Again, left to its own devices, our subconscious mind is content to watch reruns – to keep running the same old irrelevant programs that make our daily lives mundane, uninteresting, repetitive and uninspiring. You must grab a hold of that remote control! Self Improvement will teach you how to switch channels and enable you stop watching the same old nonsense. It will teach you how to tune in to reality TV – the reality of the here and now.

Sadly, this feeling of mindless-couldn’t-give-a-damn simply creeps up on us all by default. And that will always, for the rest of our days, be our default state of mind unless you set about developing a mindful, focused, tuned in state of mind – and not only have you got to do this each and every day, you’ve got to find a mechanism to ensure that you can recapture that state of mindfulness when you feel that you’re slipping down the inevitable slippery slope towards mindlessness – because, as sure as night follows day, you’ll start sliding the moment your back is turned.

Sure, I’m mixing my metaphors, between computers, TV and slippery slopes – but you understand? Our mind is always waiting to mug us – we’ve got to be on the alert as much as is humanly possible.

No one is born a ‘thinker’ – in the same way that no one is born a London taxi driver or cabbie, yet a part of their brains is highly developed and, indeed, a different shape from a regular brain because of the process that they have to go through to learn ‘The Knowledge’ – how to get from A to B using all kinds of weird and wonderful routes. Some years ago, research established that the use to which these guys and girls put their brain had a demonstrable effect on the size and shape of their brain.

Recent neuro-psychological research confirmed that the human brain exhibits a considerable capability for what is called plasticity – in effect, the shape, configuration and development of the brain depends on how it is used and the extent to which one area of the brain may have to take control of the functions of another area that has been damaged.

The main point is that our brains, their capacity and functionality, depends on what we do with them – not the other way around. Many people with whom I’ve worked over the years believed themselves to be stupid, slow or incapable of understanding things that ‘clever’ people understood. Their perception of their own intellectual skills had nothing to do with the physiology of their brains – it was based on the fact that, during their childhood, they had incorrectly learned their own self-image which, as adults, prevented them from using their brains in more effective way.

We all have incorrect ideas about ourselves – we were each programmed during our childhood years – now, those perceived inadequacies disable us from understanding and benefiting from our innate potential. The good news is, however, all you’ve got to do to be all that you can be is to drop your misconceived notions. Even the size of your brain will respond to your properly founded self understanding.

Does any of this sound familiar? Probably not – because only an idiot would think that life could be like that. WRONG! If you believe otherwise, you’re the idiot – and there’s over seven decades of psychological research to prove that we’re all idiots, wallowing in the same sad view of life – that life is a struggle, life is a hassle, you work for a living, etc. etc.

Sure, I’ve got lots of work to do – sometimes I think that it’s a bore – but it’s the thought that does that to me, not the work. Sure, I’ve three rebellious teenage children who can get up to all kinds of mischief at times – but which is more effective and easier – for us to work through those situations without tying ourselves in mental knots, or doing what normal people do until they’re so stressed and so worried that everything that they do makes matters even worse?

My point is that how you look at your life, how you feel about your life and how you experience your life has all to do with what’s going on in your head – not what’s going on in your life. And your head’s a mess – so is everyone else’s, it’s how we’re hard-wired. But you can get yourself focused and get in shape – mentally. All that’s required is a little training and, maybe, ten minutes commitment each day to make the other twenty three hours and fifty minutes so much better.

What will you do for these ten minutes? You’re going to pay attention – not to what you think is happening but what is actually going on. You’ll pay attention to what your five senses are telling you – without saying to yourself that this noise is a distraction or that pain in your big toe is annoying you – without moaning that this smell is horrible or that dust on the shelf is doing your head in. You’ll just sit down and see, feel, hear, smell and taste what is actually happening. It’s called coming to your senses! And, when you come to your senses for five minutes every morning, you’ll be in a far better state of mental readiness for whatever life throws at you for the rest of the day. But, more importantly, you’ll be far more awake to the opportunities that life will throw in your direction today.

So, time to shape up!

depression

may be all too real in your life, depression is simply not real. If believe yourself to be suffering from depression, it’s just your imagination because depression is the direct result of your subconscious mind’s obsession with useless thoughts that you took on board during your childhood years. It is normal for your subconscious mind to dwell on the past – everyone’s does – it’s simply that the nonsense that yours is paying attention to is evidently a little (or a lot) out of the ordinary. Of course, that’s not your fault – your subconscious mind was conditioned with these thoughts by others, people and events that made you feel worthless, guilty, dejected during those childhood years.

Even though it’s normal for your subconscious to dwell on past deeply-rooted memories, this obsession doing you damage – you can see it and feel it in your daily life. Again, mustn’t feel bad about this – everyone’s subconscious mind is doing them damage – at least you have the advantage over other normal people in realizing that you have a problem.

But that problem is completely down to what your subconscious mind is thinking about. You must tear your mind away from those self-destructive thoughts and redirect your attention to the one place and time that’s real, the only place and time that you can actually live – the present moment. If you manage to turn your attention to the here and now you will experience something that you probably have never experienced before – depression is an illusion, there’s no such thing as fear or worry, there’s only a world full of possibilities and opportunities – and quantum physics proves that that wonderful world will respond to your hopes and dreams.

Pills or medicine will not enable you experience the difference between reality and the fiction of stress – they might make the pain go away for a while but your subconscious mind will always wander back to those thoughts that are not real but just an imprint of your own ancient history. The only way in which you will experience reality – one cleansed of depression – is to learn how to clear your mind. No sweat! Because, as a child, you had a totally clear mind – that’s how those bad feelings were impressed upon you way back then. All you’ve got to do now is re-train yourself to pay attention to what your five senses are telling you, just right now – without putting your subconscious mind’s warped interpretation onto the facts.

I am convinced that the best way to relearn how to pay attention to the reality of your five senses is meditation – preferably, for starters, guided meditation. It will take you a while to get into it, it can be difficult, but a small amount of commitment will yield the wonderful benefit of your being able to live your life to the full.

That said, if you’re really determined to change your life, some area of your life, or change yourself, your own self confidence or some unsavoury behaviour or bad habit, it’s your subconscious mind that you will have to impress. It holds all the keys, has its hand on all the levers and its feet on all the pedals that either get your life moving forward or, more often than not, grind to a complete and shuddering full stop.

In order to impress your subconscious mind, you’re going to have to become like a little child again – not childish but childlike. When you were a child you paid full attention to the reality of the here and now, using each of your five senses – that is how you learned your current set of beliefs about the world and who you believe yourself to be. Consequently, you now pay little or no attention to reality today – your subconscious mind pretty much makes your reality up for you as it goes along! – with all the usual consequences. You need to come back to your senses, to relearn how to pay more attention to what’s actually happening around you, instead of paying attention to the subconscious baggage that’s weighing you down.

The normal subconscious is living in the past. And the key to your future is to be found in the present. After all, the present moment is the only place and time where life is actually lived. As such, you’ve got to re-learn how to pay attention to what is actually going on, not what your subconscious mind, peering out through its dirty lens of past events, thinks is going on. This re-learning process means training yourself how to pay attention to what you see, feel, hear, smell and taste. This training has to be practiced in peace and quiet so that, when the wheels starting coming off in the so-called real world, you’re equipped and ready to perform in a way that will lead you onwards and upwards to the life that heart desires.