Personal Growth – Is Your Life Not Too Bad?

A couple of months ago, in the course of one of my Personal Development Workshops, I pointed out that, most of the time, if you ask someone how they’re doing, the answer you’ll get is “not too bad”! On the second day of the workshop, one of the group told us that, on his way to the venue, he’d been listening to the radio. Half a dozen people had ‘phoned in for a quiz and, in every case, when the host asked the caller how they were this morning, their reply was “not too bad” – every single caller! I often believed that that type of down-in-the-mouth response was an Irish thing – but I’ve since found out that that’s not so. The French reply that they’re ‘pas mal’, the English respond in much the same way. And even my American clients tell me that, when they say that they’re great, they’re simply trying to convince themselves!

A superficial scan at seventy years of research in psychology will tell you that not so bad is about as good as it gets! Normal people, to quote the acclaimed spiritualist Anthony deMello, sleepwalk their way through life never realizing that, in order to live life to the full, all they’d have to do is wake up! Unfortunately, the normal mind goes through life on auto-pilot – the research confirms that, using our psychological faculty of automaticity, we pay almost no attention to anything that’s going on. And, in paying no attention to our day as it unfolds, we completely miss the opportunities of life that are right in front of our noses.

So wake up – if you’re feeling not too bad today, then that’s simply not good enough! Why would you go through life in a comfort zone that has you, in fact, not uncomfortable enough for you to do pull yourself together and change your life? Do you have to experience a disaster or rock-bottom to wake up? All the evidence suggests that that is the case. The personal development author, Ekhart Tolle, had to suffer something like a total breakdown, ended up destitute on a park bench, before it dawned on him that he should wake up!

Don’t sink so low. Don’t let short-change yourself. Don’t let life pass you by while you’re complaining about how horrible your job is, while you get hassled over money, while you get stressed out by the peaks and troughs of what you call life. You feel the way you feel because you’ve made things that way. And only you can change your life – you can transform it. It’s as easy as waking up.

So, what does this waking up involve? Focus on, pay attention to reality, not the stuff that’s going through your head and making your life routine, mundane and unsatisfying. Open your eyes, see the reality in front of you. Come to your senses, smell the roses. God gave you five senses – isn’t it time that you used them?

Self Improvement – Are YouTaking The Journey Or Just Looking At The Brochures?

Each and every year millions of people buy tens of millions of self help books. Each and every year surveys tells us that an increasing number of people are unhappy in their lives, unhappy with their work, concerned about their finances and suffering from stress. This does not compute!

Unfortunately, too many personal development books are nothing more than feel good books – no better than a good novel that you can’t put down but that makes absolutely no difference to your daily life. Unfortunately, quite a few personal growth books are penned by millionaire self improvement ’gurus’ , who have little understanding of the trials and tribulations of ordinary everyday life. The Brian Tracys and Deepak Chopras of this world don’t struggle to pay the bank or the school fees. Practicing the seven steps to this or the seven secrets to that is no problem when you’re rolling in it!

The biggest issue that I have with self improvement books, however, is that they don’t provide the average Joe the simple, practical daily steps that you can take to change your life. These books don’t provide the reader with any appreciation that personal development is something that you’ve got to put into practice not just each day, but again and again during the course of the day. The reader doesn’t understand the perseverance that’s required. Nor will the reader be able to understand the enormous benefits – because he or she has yet to do what it takes to experience them first hand. Most importantly, I’ve yet to read a personal ‘success’ book that provides the readers with a compelling enough reason to fully commit to changing how they go about their lives.

In short, self improvement books are like badly written holiday brochures. These books encourage you to read about the destination but they don’t convince you to actually buy your ticket and take the journey. That’s why personal development authors are becoming wealthier whilst the normal guy in the street looking for a bit of practical advice is getting more frustrated.

Self improvement means just what it says – it’s the ultimate do it yourself. If you purchased a new electric drill or chain saw, you’d read the instructions and then use your new toy. Sadly, we were not delivered with a user’s manual – but we do need to get to know how we work before we can operate ourselves to the best of our ability. Before you can alter the course of your life, or become a happier person, you need to know why you’re not happy at the moment, or why it is that you’re not fully comfortable with who think you are. Psychological research gives us plenty of information about how we work – but the problem that I have with psychology is that it’s mainly negative.

But, if you really do want to change your life, if you want to take the wonderful journey, if you want to experience life as it should be lived, you’ve got to start with the baby steps of, firstly, coming to terms with what makes you tick and, then, the tiny changes that can be easily and consistently made to tune up what is an immensely powerful piece of equipment… you.

This Very Moment Will Effect The Rest Of Your Life

Read the above title with care – I’ve used the word ‘will’, not ‘can’. Your current situation in your life right here, right now is as a result of every single choice you’ve made, moment to moment, right up to now. Let me give you an example. I write personal development articles – loads of them. Say I woke up first thing feeling fed up and did nothing about the way I felt, I might not bother writing the next article until tomorrow. That means that no one will ever read what I was going to write this morning – and someone who might otherwise read that article, could have changed the course of my life. It might be someone famous, it might be a leader of online opinion who could promote that article as a consequence of which it would go viral and explode the traffic to my website. The fact is that the possibilities are endless – and the possibilities and opportunities in all our lives are infinite as well.

But there’s a massive problem. If you take a look at any of the research from the discipline of psychology, you’ll understand what you probably are not already aware of – we all make our decisions on auto-pilot. Or, more accurately, our subconscious makes our moment to moment decisions on our behalf. Sadly, the normal subconscious mind makes those decisions based on what psychology would call our ‘stored knowledge’. And this is the nub of the problem. We learned all of our crucial stored knowledge before the age of four! In other words, you make each decision today based on so-called knowledge that is way out of date. The way you behave, your bad habits, how you’re feeling, what you think about yourself, what you think about your life and other people is all triggered automatically by that out-of-date stored knowledge. In fact, as a normal adult, you never make any real choices at all. What’s the result? Your life now.

Considering that each decision we take, in each and every moment up to now, has brought us to where we are, we are in fact the authors of our own reality. The good news is that, as authors, we can re-write the story by starting to take real decisions and, as a consequence, take the real action that will change your life – not ‘can’ – will. So, the very next thing that you do, do it differently. Believe it or not, something as simple as brushing your teeth with the ‘other’ hand will awaken you from your mindless sleep and set the an entirely new direction. You see, when you get used to making small choices for yourself, it leads to making the bigger choices that, as a I say, will truly change your daily life.

Why Not Lead With Emotions?

Studies have shown that companies that have acquired competencies to lead with emotional excellence are far more productive and efficient because of the impact emotional excellence has on employee morale, loyalty, retention and overall performance of the organization to name a few.

Since the early 1990′s and especially after the internationally renowned author Daniel Goleman’s book “Working with Emotional Intelligence” hit the bestseller’s list, the business world began to pay close attention to this competency and began to incorporate it in their employee training programs.

In his book, Daniel introduces emotional intelligence as the new issue for employers. He expresses emotional intelligence in terms of maturity and flexibility thus the increased demand for those who have qualifications and know how to handle people.

…So What is Emotional Excellence?

Emotional Excellence is not for women. It is not about “mushy” stuff and certainly not about “touchy”/”feely” feelings. Emotional Excellence is true intelligence and the new yardstick employers are judged by.

o Emotional Excellence is one’s ability to manage his or her emotions and those of others and in turn use them to turn difficult situations into more rewarding ones.

o Emotional Excellence is the state of mind in which you respond to events from your vision and purpose in life rather than reacting to circumstances, events and other people.

Whether we’re supposed to or not, we bring our emotions with us to work. We simply fail to “check them” at the door. So the key to create the climate where employees thrive and work their hardest is to recognize and manage those emotions and not ignore them.

The #1 competency to understanding Emotional Excellence is Awareness. Awareness is the state of mind in which you are conscious, awake and paying attention. I call this the state in which your mind and body are in gear allowing you to respond rather than react.While being aware might help you recognize those emotions, if used alone, it will not help you manage them successfully. Understanding triggering events (key moments) and choosing to respond to those events positively is your pathway to master emotional excellence.competency to understanding Emotional Excellence is Awareness. Awareness is the state of mind in which you are conscious, awake and paying attention. I call this the state in which your mind and body are in gear allowing you to respond rather than react.While being aware might help you recognize those emotions, if used alone, it will not help you manage them successfully. Understanding triggering events (key moments) and choosing to respond to those events positively is your pathway to master emotional excellence.

IQ test means Intelligence Quotient,with the help of IQ tests intelligence test you can measure your ability of your work in any field, if you get high IQ level in IQ intelligence test that means there is chances of highly complex jobs.

Are you lacking confidence? Read These Seven Secrets To Building Self Confidence Are you lacking confidence? Read These Seven Secrets To Building Self Confidence Posted By : Monique Schlosser

Building self confidence I believe is something that we need to work at everyday! Confidence is all about being positive concerning what we do – and not worrying about what we cant do.

Five More Ways To Escape Uncomfortable Feelings of Low Self-Esteem and Poor Self-Confidence

Many people live their entire lives without getting to the source of what originally caused their feelings of low self-esteem. Because they are unaware of how they can heal their painful past and reframe the circumstances that originally resulted in interpretations of being unworthy, unlovable, or deficient in some way, most people instead often resort to finding ways to distract themselves from the unpleasant sensations that accompany feeling inferior. Instead of effectively silencing the nagging voice of past hurts, they seek out distractions to help them temporarily forget about their lacking confidence and deficient self-image. Five of the more common ways to relieve the pain of low self-esteem and poor self-confidence involve excessive attention to work, food, sports, sex, or even shopping. Like all addictions, they help to distract from but do not resolve the underlying problem and so one is still plagued by feelings that will continually require greater efforts from which to hide.

Workaholism

In our culture, work is usually an acceptable means of diverting our attention. Through hard work, we busy ourselves to the extent that we lack the free time needed to brood over our sorrows. Those who work excessively are often too tired to worry about a lacking social life or the pursuit of fun pastimes that they often likewise believe they do not deserve to experience. Work provides rewards such as money, recognition, and a feeling of accomplishment, all of which help to compensate for feelings of failure in other areas of life.

It’s not that a commitment to work is bad. In fact, it is quite admirable as just one component to a well-balanced life. However, when pursued to excess, it doesn’t allow for the honoring of other equally important elements such as a commitment to family, friends, fun, recreation, personal and spiritual development, etc. An obsession with work can take its toll on health, relationships, and missed opportunities for other equally valuable pursuits.

Moreover, when work is undertaken from the perspective that one is ‘not good enough’ in one or more aspects of their being, it can’t be fully enjoyed. Feelings of low self confidence and little self-esteem diminish one’s energy by consuming attention that could have been spent more productively in the joyful pursuit of one’s goals, rather than as a distraction from persistent negative self-talk.

Over-Eating

Like working excessively, an obsession with food is often a common escape from feelings of unworthiness. Eating can serve both as a distraction and a way to make ourselves feel better temporarily. We often seek from food the emotional connection that we are lacking in close, intimate relationships. Frequently, food is linked in our minds to happy times with family or friends. Perhaps we experienced food rewards from our parents or authority figures for scholastic or sports accomplishments. For many, food has become synonymous with love. And so in times of stress, fear, and loneliness, many turn to food to fill a void that only love and self-fulfillment can satisfy.

Habitual overeating also results in being out of shape, overweight, and generally unattractive in the paradigm of Western modern-day culture. The more one eats as a substitute for missing self-love and intimacy with others, the more obese he or she is likely to become. This in turn reinforces the feeling that the heavier the person becomes, the less she fits in and the lower her self-esteem and self-confidence plummets. The greater the feelings of loneliness and not fitting in that result, the more she is likely to seek comfort in food (especially the high carbohydrate, high fat, high comfort variety). A vicious cycle is thus set in motion ensuring more weight gain and lower self-esteem.

Sports and Other Physical Outlets

Some people run to overcome feelings of loneliness, boredom, depression or lacking self-worth. Some pump iron, play golf, or work out at the gym while others find their own unique way to divert their focus through exercise, hobbies, or sports. Many would argue that such a diversion is a healthy way to funnel energy into an activity that contributes to good physical health. However, like any obsession, when taken to the extreme for the purpose of diverting attention from issues in need of resolution, it can become an unhealthy means of avoiding areas in serious need of attention.

Sex

An obsession with sex outside of a healthy, loving relationship can likewise become a means of distraction to take the focus away from self-esteem and self-confidence issues. Whether it’s Internet porn sites, an obsession with strip clubs, or the need for frequent casual sexual encounters, all serve as an effort to numb the pain of isolation. Ironically, the greater the obsession to connect with others through meaningless sexual experiences, the greater one’s sense of isolation will likely become.

Shopping

Another common obsession to compensate for a low self-image is shopping. While some find temporary comfort in making themselves feel more attractive by purchasing the latest, most stylish clothes, shoes, accessories, or even cars and other expensive toys if their budget allows (and many times even if it does not!), compulsive shoppers find that the comfort they seek in material items is typically short lived. They often fool themselves into thinking that next new dress, sport coat, outfit or cologne purchase will make the difference they seek in having them feel better about themselves. Sadly, it never does. However, all too often such excessive spending sprees send the shopaholic deeper into debt. This further reinforces or worsens the failure interpretation they already possessed and continues to diminish their self-esteem and confidence level.

There are countless other addictions that people resort to in an effort to find meaning in life when their own self-worth is lacking. Whether it is compulsive gambling, studying, puttering in the yard, decorating the house, or whatever other diversion, those who lack inner peace will not soon find it externally with a focus that seeks to cover up feelings of being unworthy or unlovable.

Thankfully, there IS a way to reclaim one’s self-worth and restore self-esteem to a high level providing internal comfort and fulfillment. For a complete roadmap to reclaiming self-esteem, visit TheSelfEsteemBook.com and discover all details of this strong authentic formula that will assist you in boosting your self-esteem and self-confidence.