The Keys To Happiness

August 5, 2010 by Oliver

The purpose of life is to be happy – so says the Dalai Lama. Sadly, most people aren’t quite sure what happiness actually is. Does it mean being surrounded by lots of nice things – nice house, holiday home, fancy car, designer clothes, nice vacations? Because, it seems that over the last number of years, plenty of people fell into the trap of evaluating their happiness based on what they owned – and of judging their happiness by comparison to what others owned. Believe it or not, I had a client telephone me at one point to tell me that his wife was threatening to leave him because she said and I quote ‘The neighbors go on better holidays!’ Say goodbye, I said!

Happiness has nothing to do with having plenty of nice things – it doesn’t exclude them, but they are not the be all and end all. Happiness is about having happy times or, as I keep telling my clients, ‘being gurdy!’ It’s a feeling that you have that all is well with the world and your place in it. It is a sense of wanting for nothing – not wanting to go further on the wonderful adventure that is life’s rollercoaster – but simply of not wanting for anything right here right now.

Happiness is a now thing. Unfortunately, the normal mind is not present now, so it’s unable to experience happiness. Research confirms that the average mind is stuck in the past (in particular on the childhood experiences that have made us who we are) and focused in the future (either looking forward to a bit of excitement yet to come, wanting for something that we don’t have or worrying about something that we’d prefer not to happen). Given all the facts it’s pretty much impossible to be happy – other than very sporadically.

To be happy, you’ve got to become abnormal. Normal people couldn’t be bothered to turn up to their own lives – and there’s over seventy years’ research that proves this beyond a shadow of a doubt. To achieve effortless happiness ( including effortless success) you’re going to have to turn up to the here and now – the only time and place that life is lived. You’ll need a focused and attentive mind to be present – there are many different ways that you can develop your focus and ability to pay attention. However, your success and happiness depend upon it – they are directly linked to your ability to pay attention – again an ability that the normal mind will never master. You’ve got to relearn how to pay attention – it came naturally to you as a child when you experienced everything new with all of your five senses. To be happy and successful you’ve got to come to your senses all over again. Once you do, you won’t have to go in search of happiness – happiness will simply find you.

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